hey rain, thanks for screwing up my beach plans!

i had grand visions of going to the beach tomorrow for the first time this summer. i was super excited, all ready and even psyched myself up about being in a bathing suit (because no one, no matter how lovely you are naked, actually likes being in a bikini - though growing up in florida forced me to embrace it.) ANYWAY, just as i was making plans to buy grapes and lunchables for our beach picnic, i got this note from my dear friend babycakes:

In Suffolk County, the health department issued an advisory Thursday against swimming at 22 beaches because of heavy rainfall. It recommends that people do not swim until at least 24 hours after the rain has stopped due to potentially high bacteria levels in water at the beaches, caused by heavy rains.

"potentially high bacteria levels"??? what the piss does that mean?! for now, it just means me and my navy blue polka dot bikini will not be making their season debut on robert moses tomorrow.

oh and you prob shouldn’t go to the beach anywhere on long island either. wouldn’t want you to get a terrible bacterial infection